Bristol Palin says: Remember to use protection
Everything was going good until she wanted to update her status...You forgot to close pterodactyl porn from this morning. Clothes went back on.
Both he AND his 17 year old son were hitting on me... I'm bridging generational gaps
I'm pregnant just thinking about him.
You yelled "sharpie war!" then jammed it in her ear
Wash that dress asap. You laid down on the kitchen floor and tried to sweep the floor with your body.
He tried to spell out "PROM?" in his cum on my stomach during sex. It was terrible
well did you say yes?
Seriously. All i can say is im covered in mud, my jaw hurts, i cannot straighten my arm, egg is everywhere, and there is a dead squirrel.
A dude I dated in high school just put a status about National Coming Out day. I checked his relationship status. He is dating a dude. Hello, Friday.
I had sex in the back of a hot foreign guy with a lacoste eye patch's car
You were yelling at the mannequin and saying "DON'T LOOK AT ME"
Fuck you and your fucking taquito's.
Woke up in a cemetery. Puked in front a funeral ceremony that was going on.
Just left the ER. Only good thing... my hot ass nurse Carlos stripped me.
God works in mysterious ways.
I should have known it wouldn’t work. Someone saved in her phone as “Subway Sex” called the week before the wedding
Randomize
