Call me immediately, my only recent boy news involves me biting a dick.
he bonged a 1/5 of jack and came back an hour later blacked out with a legitimate chicago firemans helmet
I just had a flashback to last nights party, I'm pretty sure I told most of the people there that I post a masturbation schedule for an iCal download.
Watching water boil has never been so amazing. I love wake-and-bakes.
I think there was chlamydia in those woods.
He knows my period schedule but not my work schedule.
you had me at cake vodka
other than the jail part I had a really good time with you
The random guy I fucked from craigslist said I had the best smile. I take compliments where i can get them
Please just fuck her. She's new to LA and doesn't know anyone nice.
You know, this is NOT how I pictured my life would be when I was younger, and yet here we are.
I ended up snorting coke while wearing a Bavarian dress and I feel like I need to reevaluate my life
They both showed up at the same time... to surprise me. One had flowers and the other had chocolates. Needless to say, I will be at the bar all weekend long trying to figure out how this happens.
we f'd six times
f'd?
its sunday, i cant say fucked
My new gym is popular with trophy wives. They’re talking about yachts and plastic surgery
Learn their secrets! I want to meet men with Maseratis. The meat heads and Mustangs scene is getting old
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