I just got stood up by an 18 yr old. fmylife.
I'm the only one here who isn't hooking up, coming out of the closet, or crying because of one of those 2 things.
it's taking a lot of effort to be mature and not reply to her with like a video of bestiality porn
Just saw cops pull over the ice cream truck. What a dick
ofcourse shes the first one pregnant. wasnt she the one who asked the middle school health teacher how many calories are in sperm?
just met our mailman at a party, he asked me out. i said yes, but only if he picks me up in the mail truck. how jealous are you
I just saw at least a dozen senior citizens on roller blades. way to drunk for this.
I'm really tired of your booty call eating my fruity pebbles.
Between the booze, mechanical bulls, and penis's I think my body hates it when I'm single
My blowjobs put them in a state of relaxation similar to that of getting hit with a tranquilizer. The fear comes after the sex.
You want anything?
Gatorade and you naked.
She sprained her ankle last night trying to flash me.
I'm going to teach Troy such valuable life lessons. Yesterday I told him to stay away from girls who drink redbull and vodkas.
Wine and a Lunchable. That would be depressing if it wasn't the pepperoni and mozzarella one. Those are the shit!
I think I'm taking after my dog, I just want to hump everything
Randomize
