I sk at the spereo and my dad gave me and all access pass
what???
AN ALL ACCESS PASSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSS
Uh i was pretty wasted sat, so if i was weird it wasnt me. It was just vodka bein weird w my phone
Tonite tequila might call you
Be prepared
We're pre-gaming then going to chuck e cheese's.
If you're joking I'm going to be sad
TXT her NOW! The phone is actually IN her Va-Jay-Jay!!
i threw up in his kitchen sink and then used a measuring cup to drink water because i couldn't find a clean glass. i just threw up down the stairs. it's gonna be a long walk home.
so all the bums hang out by my new store, they have a leader we call king bum... He got dethroned by police today for choking out a hooker. The bum heirarchy is in shambles right now.
Call 911 I'm faking my own death so this fat chick leaves my room
I'm not sure which is more depressing, the fact that the hospital is making me put together a living will before surgery, or that all i'll be leaving behind is 25k in student loan debt
Dude if it is ever said "everybody get inside the police helicopter just showed up.". That means it was a successful party.
He sent me a snap chat of his naked torso with cookies over his nipples. Like.... that does not make me want you homeboy.
If he would've shaved his beard when we first broke up, getting over him would've been so much simpler. That asshole.
We showed up to the ER to pick him up and I was still wearing face paint from the game. Then I threw up in the sink. Those doctors did not like us at all.
The shrooms were awesome. Everyone's bones in their face looked so beautiful! Everyone had great face structures.
I think my moral compass just broke
The people around me on the bus dont know im wearing glowsticks under my clothes. I feel like a super hero.
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