party was madd awkward.. it was like every person who i sat next to in high school and never said hi to was there
and by charming I mean he has a horse cock.
You couldn't find any paper towel to clean up the wine you spilled, so you tried to use her cat.
ooh i remember now. Not very absorbent.
We left the house and she said "let's go dick hunting" theres no way last night was gonna end up well
My Pizza Lunchables won't fit in the fridge because of all your alcohol. One of our addictions has to give.
i admit it was a weird experience, but why regret what once made you cum
I wish! That ended in 2001 when we all got collectively band from the Settle Inn. As a group we are also band from social events at the zoo. It's impressive really.
Just saw the german running around on campus. Thought of his small penis.
As you should.
I knew I was in trouble when she kept referring to the next day as things we should do
So you brought her to my house and left her on my couch.
My backyard is filled with beer cans. You idiots turned our backyard into a redneck ball-pit
Option 1: fuck me and bedtime. Option 2: come fuck me and then hangout with everyone. Option 3: don't fuck me in which case fuck you.
The way I kissed her was actually pretty charming and then it devolved to car sex
Hooked up with a straight guy while dressed as a man. I'm unstoppable.
I accidentally sent a snap of my puss with the Republican filter... Totally killed his boner
Drunk. Send nudes. Just curious.
Randomize
