careful when you do the walk of shame, they are handing out bibles on campus
Drunk in a bar in Texas. The 24 y/o hottie I am chatting up just called me a male cougar. I am dealing with this whole turning 40 thing juuuust fine.
did you know that if you have sex in the elevator on the way up that people can still get in?
We smoked speed and opium for the first time. ended up harvesting cucumbers with locals at 9am in a farmers field. Laos is fuckin crazy.
my professor saw me buying beer for the super bowl and said go patriots. thats how i know im getting an A in his class.
Just watched my roommate stuff a sandwich in his pocket because we're out of paper plates.
Obama's speech on in 9 mins. Me in the shower now. Naked. Make your choice.
I'm bringing the tv in with me.
I would rather get explosive diarrhea at the aquarium than go home alone tonight
I could probably be laying here naked and he'd still be more interested in this thunderstorm
The picture on Facebook I was just tagged in, with the mask, that is the definition of Carmen, my drunk alter ego
Hahaha she was way into you and you kept arguing about burritos. It was amazing.
Tomorrow is my bachelor party. If I die tomorrow, please know I graded you a "check" as a sister. "Check-minus" when you got mouthy.
Checked my bank account this morning...apparently I went to 7-11 at 4am and spent $22 on taquitos. New all time low for me.
I ate all of them. New all time low for ME.
He corrected my spelling during sexting.
I just heard a crying baby from out my apartment window and yelled SAME
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