Maybe if you date her you can take a dump on her
I know...I feel like disliking her as a person on facebook
you didnt remember my name all night. you kept referring to me as "the blonde with the fat ass"
I wiped a tear off her cheek with my boner. It cheered her up
She's the only one so far who hasn't laughed at me naked.... I'm gonna marry her.
The best way to start drinking is as early as possible. eg, this bar isn't open but we're patiently waiting outside. That way you're confident and exciting when the talent arrives. Or too drunk to care.
I want him to be the Hulk to my Brooke Hogan this Halloween. Can I ask him to be my daddy this weekend?
Only if you say it like that.
i hope youre ready for a shit show because we just ordered a whole pitcher of red headed sluts
You showed up to your dad's bday dinner late, dirty, and hungover then proceeded to yell at the bartender for trying to take advantage of you by putting extra bourbon in your drink... Highly doubt you win best daughter award.
WHO THE FUCK TAGS THEMSELVES AT COUNTY JAIL?!?!
Do u feel more socially accepted since someone else made up their girlfriend too?
I GOT JUDGED BY A GUY WORKING AT THE LEAST CLASSY STRIP CLUB. Peeing isn't a right, it's a privilege.
Some girl came up to us crying that she lost her phone and you said "if it's meant to be, let it be"
I woke up and sent him a text that said 'I'm sorry forever'
You were dancing to the Bee Gees, at 3am, with a piece of ham on your head. Moral of the story, You can't drink.
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