so he came on my face and then proceeded to say "that was just how i imagined it would happen"
where do you find these guys?
This guy just brought his piggy bank into the bar with him. Talk about corruption of childhood.
THAT stays in the CAR. And if one fucking person who was NOT in the car brings it up, I will KILL you. Thank you.
..So we should take it off Youtube?
i feel like his penis is a security blanet. i cant fall asleep unless its in my hand
i mean i should have known that when i started taking shots with my zumba instructor i was in for a rough night...
Security said no more parties of this kind. To me that translates to Theme party this weekend.
It took him three days to realize his roommate had moved out.
I deserve like a purple heart or something. I just made it all the way drunk through my 2 story house without making a sound. While carrying a trombone.
I did what any insensitive guy would do bought her friends shots and tried to fuck them
we're decorating our christmas cookies with birth control. so pretty.
Why does 2015 have to start with so many regrets?
OH MY GOD did i pee on you?!
Who the abstract fuck do you think you are!?
condom fairy costume came in handy...we were making out in my living room and he wanted it so i took a condom off the costume and we did it right there...with my tutu still on....
Mandatory face masks - finally, a solution for lip augmentation failures and bad breath.
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