You're my favorite asian/girl I've met here.
You're ridiculous
Your hot
Charles is a playa. And I don't mean the spanish word for beach.
I gave up sex for lent.
I guess that means I'm postponing our date until after Easter.
I've heard so many rumors about me being taken home in an ambulance I'm starting to believe them.
After I gave him a handjob for a half an hour he told me I should be a taxidermist. I'm gonna take it as a compliment.
There's sex hanging in the air like a pinata. European people are no joke.
So was it you or me who decided it was a good idea to inscribe fuck you on the counter?
That was me. Just a 'welcome to our home' kinda thing.
I hope your fat roommate breaks the bunkbed and crushes you in your sleep
Dude, jerking off when you're all hopped up on pre workout energy supplements has got to be the greatest thing I've ever done.
I stared at him for a solid five minutes because he looked like what I imagine god would look like if god was a lumberjack
I think he knows I took a picture of him. Why I don't get punched in the face more often is anyone's guess.
If catching your vomit in my hands while swimming in a bath tub full of it doesn't make us best friends, I don't know what will
ITS THE CIIIIIIRCLE OF SLUUUUUUUTS
I think my moral compass just broke
Man the amount of drugs being done at a wedding with a bunch of surgeons was disturbing
Randomize
