so he shaved. down there. and before he took his pants off i thought it was hot but then all i could think about were the naked mole rats from 7 grade science class.
I'm torn. Shes everything I ever wanted, but I just cant get past the story about having drunken sex with her dog in high school.
Houston, we have a problem
where are u?
Houston. That's the problem. I don't know how I got here.
you have no chance. her best friend is a human abstinence poster.
I woke up to a gnawing sound in the middle of the night and asked him what it was. He told me it was the family of squirrels that lives in the wall and to go back to sleep.
How unacceptable would it be to bar hop with a funnel in the square? It's Halloweekend and I plan on going hard. I can claim it goes w/ my costume. But I don't think the MIMITW uses funnels.
I know everytime I get my paycheck I'm like "I should probably renew my gym membership" and then I just buy more alcohol
He stopped responding after the animal pictures... I do this EVERY TIME.
She asked for her virginity back. I don't know what to say
He visits one Denver strip club and now hes moving there
As yoda would say; A bitch, she is.
I cant see straight, her clothes are all over my floor and I'm covered in bite marks... No I will not go to brunch with you
I have 13 missed calls from when I slept outside on some rocks
They had like literally all the dildos. It looked like a seance for dick. I left the apartment and haven't been back.
It may be a clusterfuck, but I'll be looking classy as shit as I watch the nightmare unfold
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