I dint menn to makr ut w brtendr
Wat???
U lft me at bar, no cassh for cab, may have slept with bartender
My hand turned me down
ohhhh fuckk. chicks a dude.
the brownie started to kick in before i finished the essay... it became a race against my own increasing intoxication
I don't want her to kill herself before she gets over me, getting mentioned in a suicide note isn't very fly.
but it's kind of a high honor.
Just so you know, coffee creamer+water does not = milk.
They glued all of the ceiling tiles shut.
oh my god. you caused complete remodeling to a college campus that you don't even go to
shes the kind of girl that would cock block endangered pandas
Sat down on an escalator. That hungover.
We found Mulan.
I thought you were in bed what the hell
I'm also sorry that I ate your chicken sandwich while you were throwing up....
I am buying anal lube, an enema, and a bag of kit kats. What part of this is compelling the Walgreens woman to tell me to "be well".
ELLEHCIM
NYRMAK
DRAHCIR
WHAT??
His name was toto. That should have been my red flag
She dated an Australian guy or some dude with an accent. Normal guys don't stand a chance.
CHALLENGE ACCEPTED.
Randomize
