I must say, I don't like the act of throwing up, but the feeling after is quite delightful
it's all fun and games until somebody pulls the tampon string..
There is something about weddings and lines being done off my ass
Just proof I should've brought the airhorn with me to class.
No I can't cure herpes. I'm an EMT, not Jesus.
sooo what's the appropriate music to listen to after you find out the dude you been fucking, is legit married with kids...what genre is that?
Is it weird to say that getting an std with you was kinda romantic?
I just took the cheapest shot in your honor
Just be aware that next year I will probably try to seduce you to avoid going to the gym
Running late for a date because I couldn't get my clothes out from under the dude I spent the night with in time to leave when I planned. This is my life.
The trash can in my living room is full of Popsicle sticks and my vibrator has taken up permanent residence on my coffee table. I'm not doing anything productive. Clearly.
There must be a happy medium universe where you get it on with my girlfriend enough to cause me pain but not a full on cardiac arrest. It's a fine line to tread though.
I have nothing to say other than the obvious 'we probably shouldn't have done that' and the less obvious 'i think you bruised my labia major' ...?
we dropped acid in chinatown. worst. idea. ever. too many colors. and nobody has any idea where steve is.
He showed up soaking wet with a flashlight and a ping pong ball. I couldn't say no
Well we've always known you have a weakness for guys with balls in their hands
Randomize
