haha i think we're both just down to be fuck buddies..but i do have a hickey and a bit of a big lip and fucking burns on my knees..note to self hooking up on a golf course is NOT that exciting
It only happened twice. Once we used extra virgin olive oil and once I used saliva and brute force.
I'm at the laundry mat. This guy is here showing me his ankle monitor. The weird ones always find me.
He's like the fucking Houdini of bras. Not only did I not feel him take it off I didn't find it until two days later.
There are babies in the room i shouldnt be high with babies in the room.
if this hangover is indicative of how 2011 is gonna be, i want nothing to do with it
Like I had to call my dad because I couldn't manage to unlock the door. And when he got there to open it I was climbing the gate to get in.
Dude, my sex life is so sad since I started having feelings.
Sleeping with just one person sucks
My left boob kept making random appearances last night.
Operation terrify all men while simultaneously make them fall in love with me is going quite swimmingly so far
Dealing with people is so much easier after you've had an orgasm or 4.
Turns out, it's impolite to repeatedly request Seal "Kiss From a Rose" at bars
Will you still call me Bond when I'm sober?
Nothing screams "crazy cat lady" like a nursery in your house when you're over 30, single and have no kids.
He started planning our future mid-hookup. You tell me how my night was.
Randomize
