lol whn u cming hre I nd 2 c ur fce
IF YOU TEXT ME ONE MORE SHORTENED VERSION OF A WORD, THE ONLY THING YOU'LL SEE IS MY FIST IN YOUR FACE.
It was one of those "I have no idea if this will ever happen again so I can't say no" opprotunities. Part of me was like, "You slut" and the bigger part was screaming, "Hell yeah"
I gave the bathroom attendant $5 last night for turning the sink on for me. What. The. Fuck.
I'm sitting in Starbucks, waiting for direction in my life, or it to be 8 p.m. Whatever comes first.
No worries I have vodka. Its always on time
Do you think accidently including this month's Credit Card statement in my application will keep me from getting into grad school?
Depends ... when did you purchase your vibrator?
I'll pass on that plan. The lack of my penis in new vaginas is no where on the itinerary.
I DMed the cop that arrested me to come unlock my keys out if my car today
You made me take a photo of you under the stairs at the bar. "Look I'm Harry Potter."
you seriously don't remember..? but then again, you were taking shots by yourself for like 30mins
So it's official the pockets of my work apron exist solely for the purpose of secretly flipping off asshole customers and not losing my job.
final thoughts: i just want someone into choking me out, weed and anime
I know this sounds fake but she's deep frying a bar of soap right now
Come fucking get her
I legitimately thought he died. I even called his mom at 3am and told her. Im done with vodka.
There are twenty eight units in that building. There has to be at least one heterosexual in it. You can't have fucked your way through all of it.
Randomize
