He finally admitted that he was drunk when I asked him how he got the rug burn on his chin and he replied "the worm contest"
i'm smoking hookah in a kayak. how did this happen.
We are so drunk I just let him piss between my legs on the toilet. That's love.
& he told me 'I don't think ur a big slut-just kind of an average slut'
HE THINKS THATS A COMPLIMENT!!!!!
this kid is using one arm to help his buddy with a keg stand, and the other arm to hold up the chick he's making out with.
I can't. I can't get out. He cooked me food. And made me jager bombs. And painted a glow in the dark smilie face on my boobs
will you please explain to me as to why or how i have a dirtbike tread looking bruise on my back?
apparently the bartender would rather give me free shots than tell me that my whole nipple piercing was hanging out
Its really bad when you fall asleep at a stop light outside the hotel and you wake up to a small spanish limo driver knocking on your window to tell you it's a green light
No, the real question is if you drink like I drink why WOULDN'T you wear a cape.
you got drunk, told him he looked like shaggy and said 'I wouldn't show you my mystery machine for all the scooby snacks in the world'
I just used my citation as a bookmark. Want a beer?
I'm sorry for breaking our door. And being a bitch about it.
What should've been a 10 minute beer run turned into her having a 40 minute mental breakdown in my car while in the parking lot. She then asked if she could live at my house and be my girlfriend. Her finishing act was stealing my peanut m&m's.
Well, when a girl introduces herself as "stormy" and gets your number from her boyfriends phone, I'd say that your situation is to be expected.
I'm fine. Heading home now...crying. Michael Bolton totally understands me!
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