Crying babies in a bar. Really?
And she just changed the baby's diaper on the table. It's killing the beer garden.
So that's a yes to the cocaine usage and a no to the rollerblading
I just googled "whats above a trillion", thats how busy I am at work.
My therapist says she wants to work on my 'trust issues'. I think she's found the cash cow within.
As I was leaving the drunk tank the cop told me he had a feeling we would be meeting again real soon.
i cant belive i got a ticket! i know what his dick tastes like!
im not gonna bother asking u how it was... we could hear u through the walls
I think she must be bulimic. I mean, every time I see her I know i want to throw up.
Ice cream: Good. Fraternity: Good. Eating ice cream off a Skid Row bum's ass crack in order to get into a Fraternity: Homoerotic at best. I quit.
But apparently I got kicked in the head by a stripper at some point
Woke up, moved an empty handle of fireball to spit blood, then put the morning cigarette out in it.
I drunkenly said, "That's my future father-in-law!" And everyone made an uncomfortable / disgusted face... including the aforementioined future father-in-law. Maybe I should start dating other people.
Even if they did assume we were doing kinky shit, it's not like they're gonna be like, "HALT SATAN! INTAKE SOME JESUS AND VOMIT YOUR SINS!"
I think the heterosexuals across the hall are negotiating about breeding. How do I figure out which one is against it and back them up?
I think she lost me at about the point where the words “Ice Cream Enema” were spoken.
Randomize
