"tonights gonna be a goodnight" was blasting at the club while i was screaming "NO ITS NOT" and crying. How do you think it went?
So Delta doesn't take cash. I used my card to buy a drink and asked the attendant if she could leave it open.
what am i going to do when LOST is over? What am i going to get high to?
Tell your boyfriend I'm sorry for ruining his vein. I'm never drawing blood drunk again.
Just a heads up, the coffee pot is filled with Jager.
help me choose which girl to send myself boning to my girlfriend to make her want to break up
which one looks the most like her?
I was so proud to be driving sober that I wanted to get pulled over so I could tell the officer I hadn't been drinking.
is it possible i asked you to give me a preliminary pap smear?
You woke up, mumbled something about forgetting to lock the truck at work, slapped my ass, then passed out again...
Do you think it would be a margarita if you just out tequila in a sonic slush?
Woke up and took my pants off only to realize that I was wearing my shirt from last night as my underwear
i'm 99% sure they had an orgy while i was passed out
You showed me your butthole that's like a mating call in other species
he looks like the poster child for myspace how the hell does he have other hoes?
Idk, I know when I drink vodka my bi side comes out and I just want to make out with a girl
Randomize
