I cant video chat with you tonight, my parents are home
r u implying that im some kind of v-chat prostitution whore?
Measuring your booze intake in glasses is like measuring Rosie O'Donnell's weight in ounces.
my underwear are soaked with white zifandel yet i have continued to wear them despite the fact im at home
blowing a .13 at 10 AM isn't nearly as cool as I thought it would be.
after last nights cooking expirments i have lost all faith in the fire alarm battery
I woke up on a raft in a bath tub filled with beer. excellent night.
she named each of the players on the last ten madden covers in order and then shotgunned 2 beers...if she doesnt have a penis im in love
you were just eating all his cookies and kept mumbling "them crumblies" when the crumbs got on your shirt.
He used his one phone call to tell me not to let anyone drink all his vodka until he could bail himself out.
no, that was the night I slathered your dick in the icing from my birthday cake
Meeting his dad and brother for the first time at the jail while I'm bailing him out ISN'T exactly how I pictured this relationship going....
No, we got so into acting out our role play characters we didn't even fuck. still sucess.
So I don't know, I'm not a doctor, but I might be juggling dates with 3 different guys...
YOURE ABOUT TO SEE SO MUCH UNCIRCUMCISED DICK
If I don't wake up tomorrow you inherit my paycheck and can only spend it at cinnabon
Randomize
