do you know how bad I want you right now?
As bad as i want you to stop texting me?
is that a hint?
we drove through mcdonalds and ordered everything on the dollar menu. We told the workers that were making Super Size Me 2, drove away without paying and told them to bill our producer.
I need to stop making out with boys in plain view of half my class.
He looked like Harry Potter. I had to do it.
i think the date started going downhill when i mentioned how many therapists i have
She told me I was lying in front of her toilet for an hour saying "lasers."
You have to stop getting hammered and preaching about that mission trip to Haiti.
This teachers last name is pfister and she did the fisting motion to help explain how to pronounce her name. This class might be good
No one parties like Jon. He once stole a cops hat, ran like the wind, partied all night with it, and dropped it off at the station the next day with a box of donuts as an appology.
Can we make a pact that if we're 40 and still sluts that aren't married we can get civil unioned the fuck up and raise an asian baby as our own?
Just watched a girl fall down the stair and be to drunk to get up. The only stair in the bar. It's like watching a turtle on it's back.
I'd help you out but I got Bacardi and Tequila poured down my snorkel last night and I'm still drunk
I just accidentally deep throated a popsicle in front of my parents
There are condoms rolled onto each bunny ear of the ears I was wearing last night
I threw up in my 8 AM. Morale is low.
Xanax, wine, and giving the neighbor blue balls. How about you?
Jesus, it’s Tuesday morning! Not back stage with Motley Crew
Randomize
