she is unbelievable! ever pee on a girl?
not while she was awake
There was a note in my hello kitty underwear telling me "don't go over 9000"
She kept biting his ear when he was talking to people, that was only 3 drinks in...
She grabbed both of our dicks in the pool then said repeatedly, "this is my dream, this is my dream,"
I never thought I would be having sex behind a shower curtain that wasn't in a bathroom.
I can dream in two languages, but it's still about ripping a bong.
I've decided I'm going to drink again. More. Day drinking. Night drinking. Everything. It's the responsible thing to do since I'm not pregnant
I just realized that I have dated 5 unemployed guys...and 3 that drove pt cruisers...Turns out I do have a type.
I think Jabba the Hut is dying in the stall next to me.
Rule #36, branched off rule 4: Dave stays on a leash in crazy settings. It keeps him good and gets you laid.
So essentially he's like a puppy you can bring to a bar? Retractable leash or chain then?
You'll be happy to know that the bruise is gone from my cock
I smell like cowboy sweat. I got two lap dances. This is the best day of my life!
I was at a crossroads, dude. Like, do I wanna eat chicken McNuggets or talk about my feelings?
I think I’ve been affected by his dad mustache. I wanna ride it.
You're lucky I just like fucking you because you would really suck at being a boyfriend.
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