I woke up this morning with I hate myself feeling
Fuck. sleeping in my sisters room again I heard zombie noises outside my window
Vanessa Carlton's songs would be so much better if she was pretty
my 12 year old sister just told me how admirable it was that i felt comfortable going out with my friends dressed "like that"
road dome is illegal, just asked in driving school.
Drinking bud light and eating rice cakes...this is the closest to getting in shape for spring break as its going to get.
Apparently we had sex last night, and then I made him drive me to the beach so I could puke in the ocean.
His appology was" look at it this way, at least you'll give better head without those teeth.'
Come on. It's already happy hour in Europe...Man up. "I'm at work" and "it's a tuesday" are not valid excuses.
Once he past out I measured his penis with my remote.
The Angel on my shoulder is now resorting to merely reminding me that, "You will regret this later." I'm not sure if he's learning how I think or just giving up. Either way, should make life a bit more interesting.
...and that is the first time I've ever wished fewer naked women on someone I like.
I'm pretty sure I asked his brother if he was gay while drunkenly falling to the ground.
I told her I had a small penis. Then replied if Peter Pan won with a dagger then so can I
I sense naked hashbrown eating in my near future.
Randomize
