ok so i jsut did the walk of shame with this random guy that i had sex with at the hotel party, and the lady at the front desk said "wow you're just now leavin?"
the quote on the bathroom wall was "stop reading this and focus on peeing" and i realized i'd peed on the seat.
I am the master of subtle flirting. I seduced him by simulating a hand job with an epi-pen during training.
And then somehow we were arguing over how to fold our arms
I couldnt give him head when all I could hear was his little brother playing the piano and this family singing along to it.
Is it cum slut, cumslut or cum-slut? Sexting, plz advise ASAP
I think theres a high possibility i could be flammable.
And I was slip and sliding my life away on a giant tarp with tons of soap and bitches. Priorities man, priorities.
Great. Woke up in Ts room wearing one sock, a glove and a beret with a sorrority chick CLEARLY out of my league. Jose Cuervo you ARE a friend of mine.
dude I just got a noise complaint from my apartment people for loud sexual activities. I'm framing this for sure
This dude has my number from April last year. Drunk me left sober me a puzzle. No confirmation of pants off business
I came in and she was laying on the ground just stoking it saying "the floor is where our feet step"
someone wrote my own number down on my hand and then call me.
sorry there isn't a 'perfect ass' emoji
You know shits really hit the fan when you start using public bathroom air freshener spray as perfume
what? where are you?
Randomize
