What can I expect? While all of my friends are getting married, all of his friends are tripping on robitussin
I mean I'm basically single. Or maybe just an asshole. Either way.
Just put my hand under my pillow and found a peach ring. Lat night just came rushing back.
there was a fucking fire juggler. but it was ok bc i was in the kiddie pool and it was the safe zone
Why are you seriouly talking to me about this when there naked pics of blake lively on the internet? Priorities man...
He came in 20 minutes late for his final wearing plastic bags on his feet, and a tablecloth cape. Explain.
Let me shower first- i smell like sex and rock climbing (not so sure how that happened)
Dude next time u fuck on our counters will u please let me know BEFORE I make lunch.
She was mad I came so fast. I was like, It's the Olympics! Fastest time wins! We can train you in the offseason.
i only stock magnum condoms so if the guy i bring home doesn't fit in them he only gets to eat me out. no exceptions.
Everyone keeps telling me I look so healthy and happy today: the power of the penis people!!
i just drunk stumbled into my home... to figure out that we moved 2 weeks ago..
I'm getting paid to get fucked up. How much better could this get?
Oh my god my purse is too heavy for me to dance with boys cause it has too many stolen sink faucets in it
I don't know, all I remember is waking up at 4 in the morning to him going down on me.
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