when my dick couldnt get hard she said "fly on little wing"
i have a reoccuring irrational fear i'm going to walk in on my dad masterbating. Night.
We need to start having sex underwater more often.
I just noticed that when I sneeze...my nipples get hard.
I looked at her and said "I now pronounce you pumpkin tits"
#1- I went to button my shirt only to find they were all mising. #2- I'm so fu@king sore I feel like I was sweating to the oldies all night. #3- this pounding headache I have, I blame solely on Jennifer. Everyone sounds like Billy Mays when they talk. I remember nothing from last night, I'm concerned.
im starting to recognize places in this city by where i have drunkenly peed in public
How many tongue depressors should I need to steal from urgent care to make samurai armor?
I'm concerned that this blind man on the bus has a boner right now
all I'm saying is if you're gonna fuck a fat chick do it in a pool it's like zero gravity or something
how did you graduate high school
I need to pull it together. I just cried my eyes out to Master Chef Junior.
How likely is it that we can see each other tomorrow night? I want to shave my legs in good faith but it's cold outside and my bathroom is drafty.
Things he has managed to cum on so far on spring break: my bikini, my back-up bikini, three of my four bras, two pairs of panties, four beds, six chairs, the floor of several hotel rooms, the window/door to the balcony from both sides, my tits, my face, my stomach, his stomach, my ass, his best friend's girlfriend's face, and his best friend's dick.
Just FYI spring break is over and you're supposed to be back in class but hey sounds like you had your orgy so congrats.
I'm pretty sure my therapist gave me the green light to fuck him.
Mimosas make me so tired. I just ordered a huge thing of pasta and gonna eat it in my underwear like a bad bitch
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