You're my favorite asian/girl I've met here.
You're ridiculous
Your hot
I'm in the line at the airport trying not to vomit on the person in front of me. Happy Tuesday.
So I came home baked last night and made about 60% of my jeans into jorts...
You're really doing everyone a disservice by wearing pants all the time.
I could really do without pictures of your asses in my inbox. That said, I'm extremely jealous that I wasn't involved.
I was up all night on suicide watch. Dave was wasted and tried to strangle himself. With his own hands.
Apparently getting dressed is an all-day activity.
She poured beer through the deck into the hot tub. She called it a deck shot. It was horrifying but super awesome at the same time.
Nothing tops off the night like giving emotional and spiritual guidance to a 70 year old transvestite.
I wouldn't know what to do. You never really mentally prepare for a cactus getting thrown at your face.
He used the ring emoji and we've gone out four times. What is my life.
I will most likely miss you the least and fondly remember you as Mr. "I need a minute" but really need 24 hours and 4 extra inches.
another side note: i'm officially selling my underwear on the internet
remember that party we went to sophomore year where we found that girl and had the orgy? Im totally at that house right now.
I woke up to the sound of her peeing at the end of the bed at 4am.
Randomize
