There are 3 speedbumps now up. Think you can manage the urge to piss on them?
Aw shit! That's like putting me a in a room full of Captiain Crunch Donuts and Jasper Hale and not letting me put my mouth on either.
so the chest pain/shortness of breath/overdose guy we just took to tm hospital is now running down market street from the police in a gown holding his iv.
Dude ... paraplegic porn is really creative..
I boned her and wore a Freddy mask once. It was pretty lol
all i remember is screaming butter knifes are for pussies.
cat food counts as protein by the way
Some girl, somewhere, is going to wake up with my face paint on her vagina
I just got checked out by a paramedic whilst their sirens were on. I'm doing something right
sorry bout that man. went out to pay the pizza boy, ended up hooking up with some random drunk girl that thought i was someone else
The worst that could happen is you end up with a black eye and I get laid.. I'm okay with my end of that bargain.
I could go for watching some naked price is right. Looks like a good time to me.
I met his dad. Turns out he was a one nighter from the nurses conference in Vegas. Not sure how to handle this one.
Clearly, you already have. Both of them.
Do you feel better now that you've sent me a picture of your dick?
Yep.
Im drinking a CAN of bud light at the bar. Do you really think I care anymore?
Apparently during my blackout I walked over to Troy, grabbed my crotch, and said “Eat Fresh” while his GF was with him. FML
Randomize
