he was CRYING into my vagina
he was like a christmas ornament you would hang on the back of the tree....not great but still made the cut.
He spent the whole night convincing me I wasn't fat, but after we had sex he said "Oh, I see what you mean"
this mix will be the most desperate cry for affection in the history of itunes.
She referred to her collection of sex toys as an "arsenal." I'm not sure whether to be scared or excited....
When they saw it was the 7th inning of the baseball game one took off running for the beer stand while his friend is yelling "BUY THE KEG"!
I feel as though I could trust her, I mean she did tell me she was married before we had sex.
That would explain his violent outburst while watching barefoot contessa...
Well right now I am watching him use the fire extinguisher off the pourch.
FYI If I die in my sleep it is because I drank a bottle of coke from 1986. I needed a mixer
Tell me right now I did the right thing by not fucking my sick gf at 3 am with her family home... Tell me my balls hurt for noble reasons.
Its official vodka lemonade jager and whiskey with coorslight is a bad combination of try to forget the work week cocktail ps bring alkaseltzer
Hungover and I may throw up in my therapist's office. Maybe he is right about my drinking
I'm telling you, I 'm beginning to think that my vagina is magical.
I just smoked weed out of a tomahawk, then chased an armadillo with said tomahawk, I love my life.
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