i just want to meat her and do terribly wonderful things to her vagina...
So he asked me last night if I would cheer him on while he masturbated...
can you pick up eggs and chocolate sauce on your way home?
what kind of party is this?
the best kind ever
I'm not sure where but someone shit somewhere in the house
Everyone agrees they like your mother better drunk
For future references, orgasms clear sinuses.
And i didn't ask you to do that, You showed your penis at your own free will.
Um I think everyone drunk and there's some douche on violin.
I spent the whole party making out with some guy. He wasn't that cute but six of my sorority sisters are fighting over him so I had to do something..
we were playing waterfall, then strip waterfall, then we were just listening to music, drinking, and slowly becoming more naked
The night is not complete until I am drnk and speaking to inanimate objects
This dude has batman tighty whities on over his cargo pants and he has the nerve to yell "fuck you bitch" up at my window.
You 2012 self promised me that you would do LSD with me, and it's 2015 now. So.
Plus, I'm basically a doctor, so what could go wrong.
Our office went out together for the first time to celebrate the fact our coworker got fired.
I've seen you go skiing on a Tuesday, but you think you're too good for TGI Friday's?
Randomize
