I went to blockbuster, where I always go when I need to soul searching
Despondent, hopeless, I decide on vantage point, because I vaguely resemble matthew fox (let me believe this, please)
It was cheaper to buy then rent, so now I'm stuck w/ a wretched hangover and I own this shit movie
please remind me not to sleep with group members until after finals week.
After skinny dipping in your pond, I think me and tequila have added a whole new dynamic to our relationship.
We just licked a sour creme and onion chip for salt for a tequila shot. Our vacation has officially begun.
Dude i think i got lasagna in my eye
i distinctly remember leaping through the apartment to rescue the clam chowder burning in the kitchen
The polish Muslims are throwin paczkis into the crowd and I'm beer 6 before 11 am
Well the streets were closed, so it was okay for me to just lay down for a little bit.
yeah but think of how much more hungover we'd be if we didn't steal those cookies
Well, I made it all the way to the gas station. And from there, I begged a cab driver who was parked outside, to give me a piggy back ride the final 2 blocks to my apartment. I wasn't in the cab. Didn't have to pay. Drunk me is smart, and very lazy.
Next time you see his dad you should let him know you are now Eskimo brothers.
I'm in the fetal position watching the little mermaid and trying not to die. When do you come home?
I worked all year for this tax return. I deserve to get my nipples pierced.
I came over to get dick...not to watch you vacuum....at 2 AM
Rock bottom: having sex rejected while your boyfriend talks in his sleep as you stuff your face with Girl Scout cookies
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