What happened to our ballroom dancing plans
cruising supermarkets, asking random people where i can get weed. fuck alaska
I don't remember. Are we still dating?
i blame lastnights decisions on friday the 13th
I know. She seems like she getting that "need some dick" restlessness. Might explain the feisty attitude
when seducing a hipster, do you think taking a nude pic on a lomo-camera app would increase my chances? grainy off-colored boobs and telling him how much i like reading salinger?
This weekend i learned three things 1) skittles in vodka is good 2) it takes more than a roll of quarters to get a cab home 3) never tell a bartender to give you your change in actual change
I just hope when I turn 21, it doesn't tank my entire semester.
I like the wholesome side of you
I'm so goddamned horny I could use all my pent up energy to tear a redwood out by its roots.
Reached a new low last night. Passed out. With my pants down. On the toilet. At ihop. Waitress had to wake me up.
My night started to turn around the time I started calling her a "raggedy cunt".
Somehow she got that I meant it as a term of endearment.
Just shared a bacon biscuit with my cat.... Life is weird for me right now
How do you know i dont look like i got attacked by a weedwacker on bath salts?
There were no words. I got in his car, took my pants off, threw my shirt out the window, and got things started. After we were done I collected my clothes, gave him a kiss, and crept back into my house.
You're like the sex ninja. How doesn't he love you?!
His birthday is on cinco de mayo and he doesn’t drink or like tacos. What a waste.
Randomize