Well how sick are u. Ive got a good immune system.
You think the Elephant Man ever tried to pick up chicks claiming all his appendages were elephant-sized?
Thats a flattering suggestion doug but lets be clear NO you may not put your face in my vagina just because ur not charging me a cover. sorry.
Be careful down there, Shane may have pooped on the carpet.
You were doing downward dog and puking off my deck at the same time.
I use him for alcohol and he uses me for sex. This is the closest thing to love i could imagine
After much deliberation I've decided to name my penis "Arthur", hope your mom's surgery goes well.
In case you come back to the room and i'm not here, yes there's a cup filled with gravy in the microwave. Just take it out if you need to heat something.
My mom's 50 year old alcoholic friend just told me about how she was more whoreish then us at our age. Challenge accepted.
I'm not sure which one did it but one of them fucked the kink out of my neck
A girl just asked me if we had pregnancy tests and a coworker had to stop me from telling her I was a pregnancy test. THAT is why I don't drink at work.
SO HELP ME GOD THERE IS A SPIDER IN THIS PIZZA. IT IS VERY SMALL IT IS INSIDE THE CRUST AND IT IS ALIVE. I'M SO HUNGRY DO I KEEP EATING
I wanna borrow his axe at this point and cut my head open just to relieve some pressure
I threw my shoes out of frustration and walked home barefoot... can you help me find my shoes in the morning
I get dinner and bf perks from the one guy. But dick with no commitment from the other. I’m living my best life.
Randomize
