Where you are. You must stay where you are are
Where you are. You must stay where you are arewhere are youu
Where you are. You must stay where you 5eare wher are you!!
thanks for not screaming that I'm pregnant when that guy was giving me his number.
i was calling myself "cat the lion" and tried eating the computer mouse because i thought it was "my prey"
Well if I fail my finals for being drunk on Cinco De Mayo there is always next year to graduate.
You said that last year...
oh god was she eating orange peels again
He gave me his business card. It was a Justin Bieber trading card with his number written in sharpie. I have to call him don't I?
We lost a condom inside me, I had to fish it out. The next day he gave me a Gone Fishin' bumper sticker. True love at its finest.
She's opening her family birthday cards at the bar. So we can pay our tab. Bitches wrote checks :(
moms trying to set me up with a 28 year old. hes graduated university like im getting high in my bed and he's an adult
I just need to stick to one night stands and delete social media
You slapped my ass and yelled "HOOTY TOOTY WHAT A BOOTY" in a Schwarzenegger voice
VASECTOMY FOR THE WIN
It stopped being casual for me when I waxed my vagina for you
This fucking storm better not ruin my sex plans this weekend
God doesn't care if you're a paramedic, you can't do that to someones cat and still get into heaven
Randomize
