have you ever wondered what it would feel like to stick those coneheads in your vaj
omg every time its on
Dude we need to petition the city about running buses later, none of my booty calls own cars
so I'm coping with getting the "I'm not over my ex" bomb dropped on me by getting drunk and yelling at people while wearing a purple princess hat
I was really stoned haha. I had sex with her while I cooked scrambled eggs.
I think I may be stoned foreverrrrrrrrr. The earth has been around for a long time.
the thing I didn't realize I would miss about college is that at home you can't just dismiss your sex bruises as drunk accidents
Actually, I take that back. You can only have it if I'm allowed to French braid the mullet.
I just used crown royal bags as pot holders...
Being the hot sister definately has advantages, I'm pretty sure I ruined her engagement
He was awful. Hubby's was apparently epic. I suck at swinging.
Omg the world wants us to be better people
I refuse
Have you ever eaten pizza and gotten your dick sucked at the same time? Because I have pizza.
He brought me another shot of rum, ice and my underwear when I woke up.
What a gentleman.
I KNOW, right?!
Third time this week I've caught co workers dry humping. Quarantine really changes people's priorities.
I just landed at Logan and some guy threw up in the baggage carousel. Boston never really changes
Randomize
