even my worst enemy doesn't deserve a bush like that
Married on the beach in PCB while blackout drunk. Bonged beers on the sandbar for a bachelor party. They shotgunned beers at the end of the vows. How is spring break allowed to happen?
there's no such thing as luck on your birthday, only drunken invincibility, make it happen
Fell down a spiral staircase. Et tu vodka. Et tu.
Did you get my bra back of the bartender?
I seriously think we need to revision your idea of 'keeping a low profile'
I am ina trunk. Iam in a trunnnnnjkk. I hope its yours. Oh manomanomano. Thids better be your trunk
You told her to step on the scale because you had whiskey goggles, and scales don't lie.
In between rounds of sex, you stopped and did drunken handstand push-ups.
You were naked with a chalice of Skittles vodka, singing along to Les Miserables.
Don't be embarrassed its me, I've licked your taint.
This is ridiculous. I’m in fucking college getting high off a potato.
Apparently I'm a "fire hazard"
Only time and a comprehensive case study of all of your relationships will tell.
Why did the sexual harassment class show a clip from frozen?
Add tweezing eyebrows to the list of things not to do while on adderol....
Randomize
