I just threw up and a whole piece of spaghetti came out of my nose. I don't even remember eating spaghetti.
check off brunette on the list of girls tht hit me with there cars and then fucked me later
Saw a guy throw up on himself while walking, drinking, and singing all at the same time. Hope your night is going better than his :)
would you say our friendship is at the "help each other shave animal patterns in each other's pubes" phase?
It's tough not drinking when the bartender adds rum to your coke without telling you, and doesn't charge you
hey the jello shots wont freeze
How much Everclear did you put in them?
uhhh all of it
Some lady just walked up to me in the bar and proclaimed that I looked like a "shady motherfucker." Can't argue with that one.
Chicks, chicks everywhere, and not a drop to drink. Dude, when did real life lesbians get HOT?
I could be busy drinking my face off and getting red white and bruised per usual
Dude Carly, it's like, inconvinent how often you cause me to have an erection
I won the 'drunkest person at a family event' award tonight.
Had sex in a blanket fort. How was your weekend?
I'm definitely not mad. My best friend is dating my drug dealer, it's impossible to be mad.
You tried to fight someone about spaghetti o’s?
That hungover.
when your dumb AF ex “accidentally” venmos you $50 and texts you asking for it back..... —sorry I accidentally deleted your number and cashed out
Randomize
