Drawing dicks in the frost on people's windshields is a rare joy I allow myself while walking to my 8 AM class.
If you stick your dick in my spaghetti, we're fighting.
thanks for the bloody nose. you probably dont remember, i'm not mad.. only because your boobs are to blame
i woke up to banging and pieces of ceiling falling on my face
I think cutting a patient out of a owl costume is a first for those guys. It's a good story at least.
It's Breast Cancer Awareness Month!!!! What random hook up should check my tata's this year?!?!
I seriously doubt I'm gonna be able to properly put your dick in my mouth whilst upside down, but I'm willing to give it my best shot
I told you being able to play expert on guitar hero would get us laid one day
Threw up in hyvee parking lot. Thanksgiving shopping complete.
He went down on me to the national anthem being sung by Jordan sparks. It was very patriotic of him
Not at all! I'll let your potential employer know you have a huge dick
I was randomly pulled aside to have my bag checked. It had 50 condoms in it.
I just called my grandma crying, apologizing for being the first grandchild to have premarital sex...I'm either about to start my period or pregnant.
When I woke up I was spooning with a block of cheese. Like, cuddling. Me and the cheese we nestling...
is it fun? or sober?
Randomize
