I'm almost 25, which means I can ride with girls that have permits
We should write a comic book about the many adventures of your vagina. Maybe even give it a cape or something.
90% of the problems in your life are directly related to your vagina
My 11 year old cousin is wearing a Jane Austen fan club t shirt. I'm trying not to tear into her, but I'm five coronas deep and losing control.
This might sound awkward, but can I borrow a dildo for class?
want the rest of his teeth to fall out while he slowly dies alone. Pretty sure I'm to the anger phase.
STOP TELLING PEOPLE I PEED ON YOU
Sometimes I hate my life and then I remember I live in the WORLD CAPITAL OF RUM
So I come home yesterday and my brother is like "watch this" and it turns out he's been retraining my dog to come running when u say "anal"
rigging a system to keep my jello shots cold in class. important election day work.
Have you ever stopped and thought "I do NOT want to be inside of this person right now. Or ever." Because you should.
it was good, but also weird. like, i came four times and then cried weird.
I smelled him yesterday and almost relapsed he's like cocaine
Like he was cock blocking and it usually takes ten cocks to block this cock
Unexpected pro of the hostel though: literally down the street from Coors Field. I could literally fart on the building in five minutes.
Randomize
