i love my job...i have craft hour at my desk w twizzlers
can u grab me a application
he quoted cool runnings while we were having sex: feel the rythm,feel the rhyme, get on up, its bobsled time
im sure we could have fun without alcohol but i just dont wanna chance it...
i made sure i dropped the whole "im a yoga teacher" bomb which basically roofies a guys sense of judgement and guarantees he will sleep with me.
i wanna give whoever invented massage chairs a blow job.
I should start riding the bus again so I can drink all day
Had to. She was getting married in 2 days & her vag was having a close out sale. You know I love a good bargain.
I'm super stoned watching the vatican smoke cam. Come over.
just because the DWI class is located at the University does not make him a professor. I was duped, he is in no way, shape or form a professor!
Taco trucks are like ice cream trucks for drunk adults. They should have a mariachi tune they play super loud to bring people out of the bars for tacos.
I think we've entered a low point in our relationship when I'm sending you pictures of pubic hair designs "because they're funny"
So did I or did I not flash an entire concert last night?
Honestly I volunteered because the email made it sound like it was a once in a lifetime opportunity to be a sexual spy kid.
I wore grinch underwear to my well woman exam this morning and I feel like I adulted successfully today.
So I got cockblocked by our relationship status last night
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