I'll let you put expensive food in me, but really, not much else.
so now she's a stripper
can't say i'm surprised
I didnt shave my beard last night, so I could feel it while Im shrooming today
We've started doing pot butter shots. WHY AREN'T U HERE
the night got glorious when you tried to do an upside down keg stand with a near empty key and dropped it on your face
some asshole was waslkibg around with ab electric razor and shaving parts of peoples heads.
How am I supposed to be friends with him when there's an exact replica of his dick in my underwear drawer?
He got too drunk... he threw up ON the closed toilet.
It's a Jersey thing
He called me saying he got nice rims for his car so now we can fuck in style
Captain Morgan does not know self control. Nor does he teach it.
You dove at him but passed out mid dive. Shame it wasnt a costume party your superman suit wouldve been clutch in the situation
I got sprayed in the face with titty milk and I'm still so traumatized
So our night ended with 6 cruisers, a fire truck, and an ambulance. Also, lots of blood. How was yours?
Met the hot new neighbor. She's into country music and giving really good bjs. Latter made up for the former.
Somehow my life has turned in to drug deals at the bar, and illegally camping on a mountain because I have no where else to live.
Randomize
