I hate having morals and standards the next morning.
Its where this guy sticks a jar up his ass. Be prepared to be suspended between vomiting and cheering.
she's walking around the room telling people she can make the room move with her mind and then she shakes her head really fast yelling 'see?!'
I just saw "i'm bigger then that" as her facebook status. Would it be better to make a fat joke or correct her grammar?
at first i was worried but she assured me her frail vegan body would have no chance at conception.
Please know that I fully expect you to help me steal a bed if I have a bad breakup.
Maybe you shouldn't go to cosmic bowling, i don't know if cum glows and I don't wanna find out i'm sure his parents don't either.
mom just made me 'sorry-you-have-hpv-pancakes'
I deem it safe for us to drink together again.
They dropped the charges?
Yeppers. Come drink beers.
Yeah. Let's save our goodbyes for when I'm obnoxiously and embarrassingly drunk and more than likely naked.
Aside from the possibility of pregnancy, I'm going to call last night a raging success.
I just want my paycheck, and my friends. And alcohol and tacos. Is that so much to ask?
Is it wrong that I get drunk and let him eat me out then fall asleep? He offers me so much and yet I do nothing. I feel like a republican.
First of all she starred talking about God which immediately killed my buzz
I cannot believe I am seriously having a conversation about my best friend's sexual prowess as a dream lesbian.
Randomize
