3:47a: I take it you're not on your way over
i keep walking around campus wondering if anyone is as stoned as i am
he has cookie breath... dont trust fat people.
hey girl hope you're alright, you hit that tree really hard. have a good night.
I pulled my tongue muscle last night. your welcome.
Bro, she used the potato bongs to make French fries after. She's deff a keeper.
True. On an unrelated note I helped post bail for both of our ex girlfriends last night. Russian roulette: guess which one is pregnant?
It's hard to judge what a reasonable amount of cereal looks like in the spaghetti pot. We're out of cap'n crunch and milk.
How do I carry myself in a way that says "I swallow"?
Took his shirt off. Announced he was Jesus. Threw up. Asked me to cuddle him to sleep. And then tried to kiss me. Typical Saturday night.
Nobody likes ball hair. Not even gay dudes
What happens if you die with an erection? Does it stay hard? Disclaimer: I'm high.
What kind of sociopath goes to sleep at 9pm when I clearly need attention
Just got home, my brothers stoned and he got a high score on COD.. He just asked me if I wanted to have a celebrational yogurt with him. Wtf?
there's a giant awkward home-wrecking elephant in the room. and its name is meg.
Randomize
