That girl's pussy is like White Castles, you crave it once in awhile, but you know next morning you regret eating it.
I think they should rename 16 and pregnant to "I was fucked in highschool and all I got was a baby and humiliated infront of the nation on MTV"
On your way out, lock the front door. And by lock the front door, I mean find the door handle, reattach it, and then lock it.
Just went through the drive thru and got 18 free donuts in exchange for half a joint. Dunkin Donuts at midnight might become a nightly thing for us.
The smoke alarm went off as soon as we opened the closet.
Can you explain to me how i got kicked out of a bar last night, from outside the bar?
I ended up driving home on my birthday, he opened the door to puke on the highway, and animal balloons were flying out of the car the entire time. The people behind us got a show.
Things are burning & the world smells of peanut butter. It's beautiful.
PA to anyone at the party last night and wondering where your pants are: they are in my backyard.
I'm just a little concerned for your well being... and your penis too I suppose.
Opened my notebook to coke all over the pages. So, if that's any indication on how this weekend went.
Can my mom come with to the bar? Prince just died and I feel like I need to take her out to cheer her up.
No, it's like a legit blood drive. It's not just her out in some parking lot with needles and ziplock bags
I'm naked, eating straight Nutella, and listening to "Make you feel my love" on repeat. So no. He didn't ask me out.
You don't need yoga. You need a boyfriend! Trust me I've become all sorts of flexible this past year.
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