I bet Jafar would keep his hat on during
I'm at the cafe. It's 7am. There is a girl I don't know on my futon who tried to tickle me this morning when I got down from my loft. I also not wearing any underwear.
Well at least he stopped keeping track of money by bottles of McCormick.
Just blew a perc off the traytable on my flight, spring break has begun!!
we bought a duck. we're keeping him in our dorm room. don't ever try to tell me you've had a better freshman year than me.
soo how bad was i last night?
licking sour cream off of the table at pancheros bad.
Woke up with two cats staring at me. One covered in puke thats giving me a look that says it might be my fault. Where am I? Come get me.
i'll get you drunk even if i have to inject alcohol into your arm through an IV
you're the only one i would trust to do that
I just found a wine bottle in my shower. Must have been a good night.
I'm okay. We got a prayer rug sent to us with the face of jesus on it. From Tulsa Oklahoma. Kinda weird.
I tried to smoke out of half a banana, and lit my nose hair on fire. So I feel like that sums up my life pretty well.
They were out of soap so you started calling yourself a dirty bitch
He fucked my brains out then fed me cheese and peanut butter. I might be in love.
He nicknamed his dick "the fountain of youth" I think it's time to move on...
why did you kick open the doors at church screaming whos ready to party?
Randomize
