I just had to sit down with an 11 year old who threatened to dick slap a girl.
ok shes still asleep, should i pee on her and say she did it herself? and by the time you respond to this ill probably have already made the decision
people will do anything to get on MTV. like get pregnant.
..now you can marry chaz and be in cher's family..
yeah n i dont have to pretend to be into chicks to do it now...
yeah bitch needs to recognize there's only one person with this face
all i wanted to do was something grown up. like go to applebees and drink.
He said he loved me so I pretended not to hear it because I don't think "I love your penis" was the response he was looking for.
Your like the Mozart of blow jobs, you make every other girl seem like cheesy elevator music.
i probably shouldve stopped when i uncurled the curly straw in my cocktail because it was slowing me down
I'd rate him "doable" on a scale from "ew, run" to "you should've already fucked him".
That's about an "8" on normal scales.
OMG HIS EYES ARE POOLS OF SEX. HOT SEX.
No, this place just freaks me out. Like I feel like ill get pregnant just being here. And all those pregnant bellies. It's weird.
Like, she can be the shepard of the gays. Delivering him unto homosexuality.
what i'd really like is a nice helping of naked boyfriend with a side of naked boyfriend.
i just added a shot of fireball to my iced coffee. goodbye sobriety.
Randomize
