i love how you can even make your typing come across bitchy
think im gonna go get a six pack before class and sit in the back of the room...
you told his mom that the only thing he wants for christmas is his dick in your mouth
christmas break will be like the 25 days of orgasms
Listen up tinkerbell, You're gonna come to the bar, hit on some fat chicks, and step up when I punch someone in the face.
omg his dad is hot
... I'm currently away at the moment. Leave a msg since I cannot express how much I can't help you stop ruining peoples lives.
I was looking up travel destinations and somehow I ended up reading Paul's first letter to the Corinthians. I need to start going to church high...
Of the 4 nights I've gone downtown this week, I've been "piss in the parking lot" drunk 5 times
I didn't pop out of a cake in a speedo with diagrams
In case that's what u were picturing
For not really liking Christmas, I have an astounding amount of holiday-themed lingerie
So it's ironically funny that my psychiatrist's office and my cocaine dealer's house are on the same street
Is it sad that I planned a a romantic trip to dunkin donuts for and with myself on Saturday, then added an equally romantic after midnight stroll through the half off candy sale? I find that worthy of adding a few cats to my collection agree?
I feel as though I look like a mom with a substance abuse problem
tbh i just wanted to fuck a guy with forearm tattoos but then he was so FORWARD about it
It's my birthday, if I want to stay home, get stoned and watch the gameshow network, that's what I'm going to do.
Randomize
