4:25 am: I want you here. Ugh.
i think the fact that he graduated high school the year i graduated elementary school is sexy.
I had a dream last night that I had sex with Abe Lincoln. I must stop watching the History Channel before I go to bed.
I don't even see the point of going over to his place dressed anymore.
I hope you fall on your chin.
Jealousy makes you ugly.
oh sorry. I thought "boat" was code for "penis"
For the record we tried to find 4th of july porn. Did not turn out well.
I feel like the way dolphins mate would be the approach that a guy would have to use in order for you to sleep with them
I'm dressed as a caveman and drunk so that's not really an option
Friday is the holy day of drinking. Thou shalt observe the Sabbath. It's in the bible. Look it up bitch.
Life lesson... stop having side pieces that know each other...ffs.
what are you getting to drink for new years?
well seeing as how i just got diagnosed with a uti, whatever we can mix with cranberry juice
If you wanna fuck the pudding, fuck the pudding. Just not the chocolate, Im gonna eat that.
would it be awkward if i bring my husband?
only if i fuck you in the bathroom while he's paying the check
The air taste purple.
I lost my cyber virginity to a guy I barely knew in high school while a Togepi Plushie watched.
Randomize