I was watching truelife I'm transgendered. This tranny already got a date a week after getting a vagina. I've had a vagina my entire life and can't get a date.
i was so drunk he made me beileve the song was called "thanksgiving sex."
I told you not to have sex with her on my futon
I didnt dude, i swear!
either that or you were eating mayo, which was the second thing i told you not to do on my futon
We just had to use a designated driver to get to night class.
We found you on the floor drooling you kept saying over and over how you were double jointed.
Ummm. I just wanna say this now: Don't let me invite the band back to the apartment to see my stripper pole.
Its funny that cleaning up pieces of water balloons and shot glasses every morning is becoming a routine
No, trust me. Falling down the stairs is a fucking sobering experience.
This is irresponsible on your part, leaving me alone in a bar.
Life just isn't the same without him waking me up at 4 in the afternoon with a look of pity on his face...
I don't think I can look at him the same way anymore after he walked in my room wearing a short skirt with a boner.
Eric was just sitting there open-mouthed swallowing sake from that squirt bottle for so long the lady across from us leaned over to her kid and told him not to end up like "the big alcoholic one"
He may be 6' 6" but I'm 180 lbs of pure rage and determination
When she's hammered the amount of alliteration that comes out of her mouth is amazing.
One day he'll find out I do drugs and stop talking to me.
What will you do then?
Drugs, probably.
Randomize
