my tampon string is in my asshole... do you think i can get it out without anyone noticing?
i'd get off the bar first.
thats the last time I fuck a piece of fruit on camera for him.
I didn't join FB to see my only child straddle that boy in all her pictures.
i just got fired from my job because i was "too smart" and my immedate response was i am WAY too stoned to be considered smart, and theni walked out the door.
wow. i have no words.
I'm not a creep or anything, just a lost soul looking for a good lay
He must be back home now. He moved his box of beer from her porch to ours.
It took me 3 tries to get up the front steps. They kept me motivated by waving taco bell just out of my reach. Surprisingly effective.
I sent him a pic of my tits and he said "Word." I need a drink.
I'm petty sure you said "hold on let me make my nipples hard, they look better"
i just came to a realization. Besides probably food, in my lifetime i think i have spent more money on legal fees than anything else
The last thing I remember was naked hot tub and taking a shot and using the hot tub water as a chaser. Not acceptable.
To me, you're the Patron Saint of good music and handjobs
COVER ME IN BACON THATS MY FETISH
ACTUALLY ITS NOT, I HAVE NO FUCKING IDEA WHAT AWAKENS THE MONSTER BELOW THE BELT
Gary just stuck his dick in his Guinness. I can't even make this up
Have u seen my vagina and my gorilla costume? Im in need of it.
Randomize
