Well, she's an atheist who is addicted to the Sims.
Who isn't?
ejected that DVD during the department meeting.. it was our porn from last night. I have a new nick-name at work.
i just saw someone crawling up the stairs to the dorm while screaming "i have the best vagina!"
my mom found all the used condoms in my bed side table
whatd she say to you?
no words- put them all in a circle, put the bible in the middle
I feel if a girl leaves my house the next morning feeling degraded and in desparate need of a shower, then I have succeeded.
We sent off fireworks off in the taco bell drive through. They're taking it way too seriously.
I think I'm too tall to 69 successfully.
I think I might cry.
Hey, scratch that. I've shit 8 times today. I don't have the energy to get laid so I cancelled my date.
The landlord wasn't even off the porch yet and she was packing a bowl, I can't imagine a better best friend
I got bit by a peacock. That's how hard shit went down last night.
She wore her engagement ring the whole time we fucked. I hate her fiancee, so it was cool
Is it ironic that our divorce court is a block from where we had our reception? Or is it just sad? Alanis has confused my understanding of irony.
ED guy's penis finally worked last night. It was a Festivus miracle!
You should have just fucked me in the bathroom when you had a chance!
There's a big ass bed, hella ecstasy, and I can guarantee you'll regret every second that you remember.
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