Apparently they shut down a cook out cause people were selling drugsout the drive thru. Nice to be home
I fucked her while she was wearing her boyfriends dogtags. I'm officially a bad american
You're asking the wrong person. I was drunk on nyquil and jager.
I'm going to make an art book filled with pics of me peeing in every bar bathroom I've ever been in. Dedicating it to you. You're welcome.
They should have to wear some identification that warns you to stay away. Like one of those cones dogs wear to keep them from biting stitches. CONE OF SHAME.
I couldn't sleep so I took 4 shots of vodka and promptly threw up in the sink. Happy Thursday
I knew it was a bad night when the only thing I could remember was you force feeding me tortilla chips as I hugged the tire of my car and begged to have my stomach pumped.
You thought there were zombies attacking us so you tried to tuck and roll out of a moving vehicle. Also you should consider wearing underwear
I have "if found please return to" written in sharpie on my arm, my uterus is rejecting everything, and I have hickies. I must actually be an 18 year old piece of shit girl instead of a responsible 23 year old
I think I just found my soul mate...he's wearing a zebra striped onesie and is into Michael Jackson...I'll explain in the morning.
Yeah but who says we can't be shitfaced and tan at the same time?
being broke is really keeping my alcoholism in check
Did I just pee in the Taco Bell parking lot?
Yep. But do you remember wiping with my quesadilla?
You know. You being in a happy healthy relationship is REALLLYY cutting into our drinking alone together time.
He waved at a guy who drove by while we were having sex in the back of a rental car in a hospital parking garage prior to visiting family. Almost made me feel guilty but I liked it too much.
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