Beer bonged 7 shots of Jameson. I title this night short stories with tragic endings.
On an unrelated note: I'm also a big advocate of the "never waste a boner" theory.
Me too it's so nice. Debated studying out there but woulda been 90% babe-watching 5% flexing 3% studying and 2% talkin my boners down.
Beautiful fucking linguistics Shakespeare, but youre still not doing that to my face
It's amazing how not interested in talking to him I am since I've decided that he probably has chlamydia.
Straight guys just can't stay away. My penis must have pheromones or something.
hes duct taped to the wall and we're throwing eggs at him. i love thirsty thursday.
I am just saying if Clark Kent walks into your life, you fuck him
Woke up to the UT campus police fishing my boxers out of the university pool, guess it was a good night.
I just loudly threatened to kill a self checkout machine
the day i stop sending you hentai screenshots is the day i actually act like an adult, and TRUST ME. THAT AINT HAPPENING ANYTIME SOON.
I AM SMARTER THAN EVERY FUCKBOY WHO HAS EVER SWIPED LEFT ON ME
The economy cant be that bad, I willingly got fired to bang her again.
No I'm not lying to you. I'm just not telling you the whole story. There's a massive difference.
The only good thing about 2020 is that the hot flight attendant neighbors are using my pool a lot. If i can keep them from wandering into my Zoom meeting with my boss I’m golden
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