remember when she hit me with her car by accident, well apparently it wasn't an accident.
I still think their baby is ugly. I also still think it's yours.
She seriously needs to find another hobby other than bouncing on cock.
I guess calling a coworker a lesbian sea cow is some kind of violation.
I got a Cease & Desist email from NBC for downloading Bruno. I am not going down for gay porn.
I just discovered cum stains from two different guys on my wall. I don't know whether to be proud or horrified.
We can't bring brittanys dog so we are getting high and getting in my bathtub I think it's pretty safe
With any luck I will spend the duration of this flight with my tray table up my seatbelt securely fastened and my face in his lap
BRING ME THE PLAN B. ILL GIVE YOU A FREE WATER BOTTLE AND A BUMPER STICKER AND SOME BACON BITS
I just came inside of a Gatorade bottle. That hungover.
Last night he ate BBQ Pringles out of my boobs...I feel like it was moderately productive
I was just thinking about all the dick I could catch while I am home. But then I realized I am too lazy to get out of my pjs and leave my cat.
I'm like, not good at living.
While he was going down town Julie brown, I was eating French fries. True Love
Fuck your fuckin pumpkin spice. You and your subtle differences frighten and disgust me.
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