Regardless of the degree, it's probably not good to relate so closely to the Steve-O documentary.
I had a long pep-talk with my penis that ended in "I love you, I'll try harder and I'm sorry."
so I woke up and found tortilla in my belly button
Just woke up with three stitches in my left boob. Nevertheless, I think I'm going to like this school.
I'm in the bar bathroom about to pass out. But it's ok cause I set my alarm to go off for last call.
I can't wait to be a mother. My daughters gonna outdrink every boy in her grade
She says she'll teach me how to make her squirt tonight so yea, I'm bailing again. I'm not sayin sorry since you don't have a better offer.
When he came downstairs he looked at me like I was attempting to rob his house.
Did you reintroduce yourself?
He threatened to call the cops.
Also.. The Hobbit does not look like a cartoon. We were just too fucking high.
Didn't think the day of being the oldest in a club would be when I'm twenty one. Even the bouncer looked surprised when he ID me.
Spending the night with him made me realize that stupid people both irritate and fascinate me, so I'd say it equaled itself out.
You're talking to someone who was 80% serious about breaking into someone's house and leaving a cat there with our names in a heart tag on its collar
Forget work, lets run away, rob banks, and have kinky sex with fuzzy handcuffs.
IT'S LIKE YOU READ MY MIND.
I have to charm this cab driver. Hold on.
I miss the pre Covid days when we could meet men in bars. Hitting on guys in the grocery store is just depressing
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