Please dont use Danity Kane lyrics to describe your emotions.
Is it bad that I was more upset about not getting the perfume he told me he had bought for me then the actual breakup?
He's only a little bit crosseyed.
I think this is one situation where "a little bit" doesn't mean much.
new girl just came onto the hall stumbling drunk with no shoes on and the guy who brought her doesn't have them either
Jesus christ how hard is BRING SNACKS AND DRUGS to interpret? I trust your judgement on this one.
Beer Popsicles are better in theory
We all have our weaknesses that drive us crazy. We happen to have one in common, 21 year olds. Your secrets safe. Touch his penis.
They were picking gravel out of my face for an hour. I think I took more out of the road than the road did of me.
Barfights against pavement aren't genrally won by people. Props.
I told him he was probably the first guy to get fucked while wearing Star Wars pyjamas.
If you do wifi you would be helping my penis out & real friends care about their friends penises...
He fucks like those drill things that you see when you think of texas
I JUST LIKE FLANNEL, NOT VAGINAS! OK?
If I don't singlehandedly make your gf realize she needs to straighten the fuck up or ruin your relationship before I leave I have failed you as a friend.
I found three naked dudes in your bed this morning. Did we have a really weird break in or do you need to tell me something?
If it makes you feel better he's in the stall next to me and I'm taking a diabolical shit. He's complaining
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