When you want to head down the cleveland on Sunday?
What time do the bars open? I dont want to remember how bad theyre gonna lose
im guessing your the one that tried to make bacon in the toaster
my favorite part of the night was when I was in the bathroom frantically trying to get my cat whiskers and nose off to make hooking up less awkward
Don't make this awkward for me. Don't let your mom come near the bathroom. I can't meet your mom for the first time while I'm shitting. Dont make this awkward.
And you were like "stop making pop tarts, lil bowow" as you grabbed the pop tarts from your ex and consumed them. Teach me your ways.
He left my apartment when I broke up with him just as my booty call was walking in. It was a little awkward...
I do have a life. It just consists of making scarves and chesse straws now
I would feel worse for you if you weren't waking up between a pair of double Fs that attached to a classically trained chief. Im still jacking off eating hot pockets.
Kripsy Kremes at our place, bring your own coffee. And your own donuts because these ones are ours.
I should be done at 8 and I've also done a great Job of convincing my self that I should get really drunk tonight
guy at the bar just asked how many cows we have on our land, then proceeds to ask me out. you know your from the country when....
Got to use the phrase "sweet pukas dude." My day is made.
You okay? Last night you climbed through my window and demanded I take shots with you and when I refused you took a piss in my front yard.
that's your fault. you refused to take shots with me.
Eating breakfast at 1:30 in the afternoon stark naked is how everyone should live
You are allergic to dogs. DO NOT kidnap something you are allergic to. No matter how fluffy.
Randomize
