so the chest pain/shortness of breath/overdose guy we just took to tm hospital is now running down market street from the police in a gown holding his iv.
I just puked into a plastic bag at a red light. Go me.
He was probably pissed, but i couldn't tell for sure. How pissed can someone really look while holding a fishbowl mimosa?
I'm trying to think of how to explain to the dentist tomorrow that I think I pulled my jaw muscle eating pizza while drunk.
Apparently I spent my 300 dollar tax return by ordering ramen on amazon last night. Please tell me this will somehow pay off in the long run.
Rode my bike to work still drunk. Almost threw up on a camper while getting him out of his parents car.
I think my staff loses a little bit of respect for me every time you're in town. I may have to puke at work ...again.
I am the prescription. I can be taken orally or vaginally and in any dosage. This is why I went to med school.
I saw pigeons eating ur dried up puke today. Last night was fucking great
If a girl called me a promiscuous philandering Casanova, should I say thank you?
Most definitely.
I wish I got like a congrats basket for being a responsible sexually active member of society complete with condoms, tissues and lollipops.
cmon you know I'm perfectly capable of something that ridiculous 100% sober
There's a dude wearing a banana suit at the house across the street....
Im at a south american orphan benefit auction drinking stoli in a coffee mug, this is what my life has become, thanks a lot community college
Nothing much. Just taking shots of tequila before I go get a bikkini wax. You?
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