I need a man. I think Im going to put myself on Craigs list since they caught the killer and all.
Do it and if you add naked pictures youll get an instant reply
I drank it, and now my boss keeps hitting me in the face with beams of light.
Tripping at your desk probably isn't the best plan you've had.
Last night I had a dream we played Uno and had sex. You won at Uno, but you lost at sex.
Every time you buy a sobe you buy a bong.
I think we should involve a squid next time we fuck.
u kno there is a reason i dont tell mi friends about u
Even if you were sober, spitters are STILL quitters, end of story.
i just woke up at 8pm naked in my bed, with a fresh haircut. I wonder what barber i went to.
He just got home drunk. He ate 5 snack cakes, said Little Debbie's his bitch, went upstairs and fell asleep.
Someone woke me up and gave me a sprite and some pills. I put them in my belly button. Trust no one.
On a scale of 1 to 3, with 1 being the smallest and 3 being the largest, what size nipple pasty do you think I am?
YOU COME FROM SAD WHALE FAMILY, DEEP IN OCEAN!
i want to pour hot gravy all over you in bed
Sweet tea and masterbation. It's how I manage.
friends who go to the bar together leave the bar together and im not leaving you behind ohana means family
"They won't do it. I'm in the middle of darkness. " and "Probably going to die. I've been walking for 50 minutes in one direction" are the last texts I got from Steve
Randomize
